IMPOSTER SYNDROME
THE HAUNTING INVISIBLE GHOST FROM OUR PAST HOLDING US HOSTAGE. SOMETIMES HUMMING IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN WE BIRTH A NEW IDEA, SOMETIMES SO CONSUMING IT CRIPPLES US FROM TAKING ANY ACTION AT ALL.
WE LABEL OURSELVES LAZY, UNMOTIVATED, TOO TIRED. START TO GIVE UP, SINKING INTO DEFEAT. IMPOSTER SYDROME IS NOT STEMMING FROM THE PRESENT MOMENT – THAT PLACE WE ALL COHABIT NOW. IT IS BORN FROM SOME ARCHAIC BELIEF SYSTEM WE HOLD ABOUT OURSELVES. NOT GOOD ENOUGH, NOT WORTHY ENOUGH, NOT TALENTED ENOUGH. NOT ENOUGH IS FEAR BASED. THIS IS A LACK BASED SYSTEM WE ARE WORKING WITH. THERE IS NO LACK IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. I KNOW, I AM LEANING INTO ECKHART TOLLE’S TEACHINGS AND THAT DOESN’T ALWAYS FEEL LIKE AN ACCESIBLE, FELT-SENSE TRUTH WHEN OVERWHELMED WITH IMPOSTER SYDROME.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH WITH ME. I KNOW I KNOW, YOU HAVE VERY IMPORTANT TASKS TO COMPLETE AND SCENARIOS TO SCARE YOURSELF WITH. TRUST ME, THAT IS MORE REASON TO PAUSE AND BREATHE. INHALE CALM, EXHALE FEAR. INHALE TRUST, EXHALE DOUBT. INHALE ENOUGH, EXHALE LACK. FILL THE BELLY WITH AIR, OPEN THROUGH YOUR CHEST. SOFTEN THE SHOULDERS AND UNCLENCH YOUR JAW.
CALMING YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM IS PARAMOUNT BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO ACCESS A NEW PERSPECTIVE. THAT’S WHY WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO APPLY TOOLS AND CREATE ORDER WHILE YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM IS PREPARING FOR THREAT, IT CREATES MORE CHAOS AND YOU SPIRAL INTO DISPAIR AND START TO LABEL YOURSELF WIH ALL THOSE NASTY NAMES. USELESS. WORTHLESS. HOPELESS.
REGULATE FIRST, THEN RESPOND. AS YOU ARRIVE INTO THE PRESENT MOMENT, (HELLO, WELCOME BACK) AND CONTINUE TO RELAX YOUR BODY, BEGIN TO REMIND YOURSELF IMPOSTER SYNDROME IS A PROTECTIVE DEVICE MANUFACTURED AT A TIME WHEN YOU WERE TAUGHT THAT IT WAS NOT SAFE TO EXIST. THAT IS HOW POWERFUL SHAME-INDUCING COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE WHILE YOUR BRAIN IS DEVELOPING. NOT TO MENTION THE SHITTY EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE THEN ENDURED AS AN ADULT. BUT WE ARE NOT HERE (NOT ON THIS OCCASION) TO DELVE INTO PAST TRAUMA. RECOGNISE IT IS FROM THE PAST. RECOGNISE YOU ARE STILL INVESTING IN AN OLD BELIEF SYSTEM CREATED TO KEEP YOU SMALL, BECAUSE IT WAS SAFEER TO SHRINK THAN TAKE UP SPACE. IN THIS MOMENT, YOU ARE AN ADULT. YOU MADE IT THROUGH THE INITIATION. AND I KNOW IT SUCKS TO ADULT SOMETIMES. BUT HERE WE ARE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO KEEP CARRYING THIS GHOST. IT WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER IF YOU DON’T RECOGNISE IT IS AN ILLUSION KEEPING YOU SHACKLED. YOU ARE NOT LAZY – IMPOSTER SYNDROME SHUTS YOU DOWN SO YOU DON’T TAKE ANY ACTION THAT COULD LEAD TO YOU BEING REJECETD, CRITISISED OR EXPERIENCING THE SENSE YOU HAVE FAILED IN ANYWAY. IT IS KIND OF CLEVER. YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THIS BUT IF YOU ARE LIKE ME YOU NEED MULTIPLE REMINDERS. DAILY. (MAKE SURE YOU HAVE KIND FRIENDS WHO PROVIDE REMINDERS AND MAKE SURE YOU RETURN THEM).
BELIEVING YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH IS THE GATEWAY DRUG TO SETTLING FOR A MEDIOCRE LIFE AT BEST AND DROWING IN DEPRESSION AT WORST. WHAT IS THE THING YOU ARE MOST AFRAID OF? THIS IS USUALLY A ROOT CHAKRA ISSUE. IF YOU AREN’T INTO CHAKRAS, THIS IS USUALLY LINKED TO A VERY PRIMITIVE FEAR. THINK MASLOW’S HIERRARCHY OF NEEDS. HOME/SHELTER IS OUR BASIC NEED. BASIC. YOU COULD HAVE A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD WITH CONSISTENT INCOME AND STILL EXPERIENCE A LACK WHEN IT COMES TO FEELING SECURE BECAUSE THIS IS A PAST PROTECTIVE MECHANISM SHOWING UP IN YOUR PROGRAMMING. IF WE ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH AT WHAT WE DO, WE WON’T EARN MONEY TO LIVE, AND WE WON’T SURVIVE. OUR BODY RESPONDS TO THIS PRIMAL THREAT ACCORDINGLY. THIS MIGHT MAKE US TRY HARDER FOR A BIT (PERFECTIONSIM) BUT EVENTUALLY LEADS TO BURN OUT AND THE CYCLE BEGINS AGAIN. IT DOES NOT WORK TO CRITISISE OURSELVES. IT IS NOT EFFECTIVE TO KEEP PUSHING THROUGH WHEN WE ARE TIRED AND INTERNALLY SCREAMING AT OURSELVES, JUSTIFYING THE CHAOS BECAUSE OF THE LENGTH OF THE TO DO LIST. I’M NOT SAYING YOUR ECONOMIC CONCERNS ARE NOT VALID – I AM SAYING IF YOU CAN FIRST PAUSE TO BE NICE TO YOU AND REGULATE YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM WITH A BIG, JUICY BREATH YOU WILL BE FAR BETTER OFF. TAKE BABY STEPS. TELL YOUR FRIENDS (WHO UNDERSTAND) HOW YOU FEEL. SOAK UP THEIR REASSURANCE. AND WHEN YOU DO SHOW UP - AFRIAD, MESSY, UNHINGED… BE YOUR BIGGEST SUPPORTER. TELL YOURSELF EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO HEAR. REWIRE YOUR BRAIN, PEP TALK BY PEP TALK. COME BACK TO THE PRESENT MOMENT, WELCOME YOURSELF BACK HERE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU NEED TO. THE GHOST WILL DISSOLVE WITH YOUR NEWFOUND SELF-COMPASSION. YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF BACK IN ITS GRIPS FROM TIME TO TIME. BUT YOU CAN RESURRECT. YOU CAN CONNECT TO PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND. YOU CAN READ THIS AGAIN. DON’T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. MESSING UP ONLY HITS THAT REJECTION WOUND WHEN YOUR WORTH IS ATTACTHED TO WHAT YOU ACHIEVE. IT’S ANOTHER ILLUSION. YOU ARE ALREADY ENOUGH AND THE ONLY RESISTANCE IS THAT YOU WON’T ACCEPT THAT. CLAIM IT!!! AND FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU DID NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE NOTHING SHORT OF INCREDIBLE.